Conyo Problems
A collaboration poem by Salbehe and Vajarl

I’ll make some tula
Tutal naman I don’t have any gawa
This is so walang kwenta
Like, you know, whatavah.

I don’t hate mga dukha
Basta they don’t make lapit to me huh?
They have so many tigyawats!
Their face, it’s like sira sira.

Pero I don’t make lait naman to everyone
I made bf pa nga to someone who looks like bagang
People say I was so tanga
Pero kasi I enjoyed naman every bira

Kakainis naman in the MRT
How plenty tao, you know, people?
It’s so tight nga there, eh
You know, like masikip?

Once, I studied at Arrhneo
Its so hirap like, whats “panghalip panao”?!
I make utos to Yaya to answer coz I’m suzshal
Prof made huli, so I transferred to Lazshal.

They also say I’m so mayaman
Pero don’t believe them, I don’t have pautangan
Some balyena, I was naisahan
If only I know how to make kulam kulam.

I don’t know how to end this shit
Baka magkaroon na me ng anghit kaka-isip
This is so yuck, nakakadire to death
But in all fairness aylabet.

Papunta kami sa Megamall, kasama ko si Essy at Emon, para manonood ng Sherlock Holmes 2. Sinasama din namin si Mamita para may bibili ng popcorn at soda, kaya lang tinatamad sya atsaka may parating syang bisita.

“Sige na, Mamita, kahit sumunod na lang kayo”, sabi ni Essy. Alam ko na ang iniisip ni Essy, pinapasunod nya si Mamita  para pagkatapos manood ng movie, ime-meet namin si Mamita para magpalibre ng pagkain. Minsan lang namin mauto si Mamita kaya sinusunggaban talaga namim kapag may pagkakataon.

“It depends.”, sagot ni Mamita.

Biglang sumabat si Emon, “Mahirap yan.” Yung mukha ni Emon, seryosong seryoso.

Naguluhan kami.

“Anong mahirap dun?”, tanong ni Essy.

“Kumain ng bakod.”

Katahimikan.

Katahimikan.